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married life without sex
husband not willing to have sexual relationship, emotional abuse by inlaw

New Messagemarried life without sex (modified 0 times) nisha
no sex life for 2 years....
husband consult everything to his mother....
every important dission decided my mother n father in law
he can even gossip about me to the parents
05 Jul, 2008 00:08:36

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times)
Don't be too hurry,you had forgot to sound out, what's your question or what you planing on?

05 Jul, 2008 20:35:39

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) nisha 2
no sex life for 2 years....what a big deal .. i hav been married for 10 years and no sex life for 4 years...and my
husband never consult everything to anyone .. at least your husband still gossiping about you.. For me ...not even talking to me and he find very hard for him to communicate with me ... And why -- i telling my self why and the answer is I Still Deeply In love with Him even though the way he treat me..and the way he abandon me... My heart couldn't let go until it my heart stop beating. So tell yourself actually what you wan .. whether you wan to keep on going then only you will find your answer.
10 Jul, 2008 22:33:12

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) darkhole
I decided to reply the message because me and my husband are having the same problem.This is a 15years relationship and we have been married for 8 years now. Before we got married, he had a sexual relationship with his high school girlfriend for about 2 months. That time we already stayed together for about 5 years before married, I was deeply hurt and could not understand why can this happen. But still I chose to marry him because I couldn't let go of him as he has deeply rooted in part of my life. Even though I know he is an ####### when come to building a TRUST and LOVING life together, but still I go for it. Very soon his workaholic nature turned worst,100% of his energy poured into his job. Our relationship is totally blank, he became as mechanical as he said he can't feel much. Our sex life is cracked not long after the marriage, till now we have no sex life for about 6 years. During these time, I had tried many means to repair the situation including participating relationship workshop, reading books, eventually seek for spiritual inspiration and meditation. I learned and changed a lot, but my husband is still very much attach and burdened by his work, very mechanical and empty inside. Legally we are married couple, habitually, we stay together and see each other everyday. But that's all, no intimacy except usual hugs(and not even kiss bcoz he don't like that). I have contemplated many times to terminate this marriage, because I do not think it will lead us to anywhere anymore. I always think maybe one day he can meet someone which match his frequency, and I probably can concentrate more on my work if we separate. There is love between us but not married couple love but more like a sister brother love. We have no children, and he support my living currently with minimal money. He wish to have a kid, but with our problem, he hope I can go for insemination treatment in order to have a child. But still I insist on natural pregnancy.
Nisha, I wish everything turn well for you. I must tell you honestly that I will choose to leave my husband if I were you. The journey maybe painful but I think it's worth to go through it. 2 years no sex life is easy for me, just that if he continue to consult his mother for everything, please forget about it! But still I have not full picture about your marriage, so don't border so much on what I said above. cheers!
Nisha 2, I like your courage! All the best to you and husband!
15 Dec, 2008 12:20:48

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) NISHA TWO
dear darkhole,

My case at the moment become more complicated and still i can't make my decision to stop loving him and let him go as a free man . We married almost 12years now and we hav 2 lovely daughter (9 and 7 ). And since for the past 4 years i have been surfer by the lies. We hav a house but he don't like us to move in with him and prefer us staying in my mother house and when i started to realise he hav been change to another person it is to late for me control the situation. So when i insisted we move in to our house , he seldom come home with all the working excuses and busy with new business. And until the stage he told me he got working pressure that efeected his sexual life and become impotent(4years ago). But i still choose to trust him and to love and care about him.

Last years - i rented out the house cos he cannot even manage to paid me for the kids expenses and every month i hav to paid for the installment for the house. And before the house rented out --he never come back and stay at the house for one years.

So basically our marriage life is doomed, And he can only spare his time with us on sunday for few hours only. And recently i heard from his fren that he staying in a condo with a china girl which i heard 2 years ago and the worse part is pregnant with his bb. My life with him should be end when i hear all this thing but i still don no why i love him so much and why i can't let him go .

And he say to me between us there is no longer husband and wife love and it is to late for us. And ask me to make the decision but until now i just cannot make the decision and why should i make the decision -- i never do anything wrong. And he do no i know the pregnant thing and even my parent and parent in law also don no. And now i pretend i don no and waiting for to watch the big movie. and i really don understand myself either why i take all the surfers and silence.

My tolerance become more thiner , and almost every night when i think about him i cry.

God please help me...

18 Dec, 2008 20:20:17

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) supersab
WOMEN - Y r we so nice but so mean? So fragile yet strong? So smart yet so tupid?!!! Ok This is my situation I wouoldn't say no sex at all but I have been married for the past 3 years going on 4. I have known my man since 18yrs old...dat makes it 13yers wif him. before marriage we were having unbelievable sex...after my miscarriage 4 months into the marriage, sex dwindled really into nothing. He blamed stress and many other factors for not being able to perform or even have sex. What else making love? I have been telling him to go and seek medical adv which he claimed he will until now so its 3 yrs...Finally things started turning bad... he started suspecting me, must have been his insecurities and he asked for a divorce. guess wot I said ok...he culdn't take it when I broke the news to my parents and asked for a chance to wrok on the marriage. Bull####!!! I m tying to...but i know for a fact it wont work...we have drifeted apart and even a small simple question like what you wanna eat can become a topic for argument. I asked him time until end of this month to give him my decision and he agreed. I am a career women, I realized that I can live without him and I want out, but I think m gonna get stuck cause he needs my support finacially. Wish me luck K?

To the women ere who want a good life....leave while you can and let d person who gets you next know your worth. Settle for only the best. Nisha I don't know how old u r or how many Kids you have...but Life is short and every human being is entitled to every happiness in this world. If you're sacrifscing yourself and your happiness for someone....neither will be happy believe will all wear out in the end. Think of the future now not when you're 50 something or older...then it will be too late to start over...but of course you still can if you wan.

Nisha 2...I know how you're feeling...having kids and all...but the man you love aint worth the love you have. As a mother please remeber that your kids will follow and learn from you. If you don't love yourself and give yourself the best your children will never learn to love you or even themselves. Children grow up in our mirrors. Sorry I am not a mother yet but I do realize the many inportant things in life. You're man has point blankly told you he has nothing for why do you cry every night? Do you cry as you pity ureself or r u crying cause you feel stupid for loving him? U have so much love in you Nisha 2...give it to people who r worth your kids...your family then people outside who need it. Why do you channel such good love and energy to a person who cant value you?

Nisha 2 and all women out there...God will always help you...but in order for him to do so PLS HELP YOURSELVES, look inside yourselves and asks yourselves if you deserve to be treated as you should be now? Always take pride in being a Women...a mother...a sister...a daughter...a wife. We matter a lot in people's life and when they cant value and treasure us...they can go to hell!!!

BE STRONG and BE LOGICAL, LOVE the people who LOVE you!

12 Jan, 2009 08:15:13

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) nisha 2
thank you for your advice.. and from now onwards i will life happily and raise my kids in a good manner.
04 Feb, 2009 21:58:51

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) "freelunch" therapis
communication is important. talking to him about this. If didn't work, write to them. That too didn;t work, guess you should know hat to do next....
12 Mar, 2009 12:07:54

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) nisha 2
Yes communication is important... but when things happen the man i love no longer wan any conversation cause the guilt he kept inside is a burden to him. Since there is no communication between us .. i try sms and it also no work.. i try email...but the answer from sms or email it very straight forward past is past , our life as husband and wife at the moment or in future it still won be any chances and he say he can't love me anymore and if i can accept or not.. it no longer his problems already. So until now i still waiting for him to love me again and for him to come back but it seem day past very fast ... and i still keep waiting for him .. my life ..every breath i take i can feel the pain inside my heart...i really don no how much longer time i can take to surfer like this .. i m so sturborn to let him go...
14 Mar, 2009 17:08:14

New MessageRE:married life without sex (modified 0 times) enuf is enuf
can 2 years of no sex be applied the same way for divorce as 2 years separation?

i have the same situation and is considering divorce.

27 Mar, 2009 14:00:48

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